I have heard for years not to get too close to your customers.  Wisdom or misguided conventional wisdom?

For me it depends how you handle it.  My close friend recently warned me about getting too close, or my customers will expect me to work for free or on the cheap.

I don’t think this is necessarily true.  For me it depends on how you set your own boundaries and how you present yourself.  I DO in fact often get quite friendly with my customers.  I end up having friendships with some of them that start to develop while I am working for them.

I do not shy away from deep/personal conversation with customers.  Having a background in counseling, grassroots community organizing and mediating, I have become very comfortable with a broad range of conversation with customers.  I am sure they know that I appreciate them, and I like knowing about their lives, about what is important to them, and I like when they act in the same way toward me.

Years ago, when I bought into the warning about not getting too close, I guarded my conversation much more, and felt real awkward doing it!  I finally figured out, why in the world do I have to keep this imaginary line with these people just because I am working for them?  The truth is, I feel that erasing the line, with self control, actually helps the professional relationship.  Again, for me it depends how you carry yourself, how you see yourself and your role.

I have never had a customer ask me for a discount or a freebie because we were getting friendly.  The fact is, as we become closer, I find myself naturally wanting to give even a little more, by my choice, and then they appreciate it.

I am doing quite a bit of work for a lovely couple  who is living in their house while we tear apart, rebuild and modify a lot of their house.  Of course this is disruptive for them, and it can be difficult for me and the guys working with me, too, because we try to dance around the owners’ lives.

There is mutual respect all around, though.  The other day, the husband, who had been away with work, which is often the case for him, mentioned that he had missed the trash pickup.  I told him I would take his trash to my dump the next morning, along with cardboard to be recycled from the job.  He was surprised and very appreciative.

Today he shared his lunch of leftovers with me, and we had a real nice talk about nothing even remotely related to work.  I have also become comfortable accepting food, as well as good conversation.  Why not?

And I know that this couple respects me, my work, the men who work with me and  our need to make a fair living.  I carry that stance inside me.  I respect my customers, and I would like respect back.  I am also fortunate that this present couple happens to be especially nice.