In mid April I attended graduation ceremonies for my 20 year old nephew Alex who just completed US Marine boot camp.

My sister and her husband, my brother-in-law’s brother, and my daughter and I were present.

Let’s just say that in thirteen weeks remarkable transformation was highly apparent. My nephew showed new stature and presence, new confidence and new appreciation of life that had not been revealed before. At the same time, as my sister said, he was still himself. He had not become a hard-butt. Rather, he had done significant maturing and blossoming in a very short period of time.

It was a wonderful thing to observe and be present for. Joining the Marines was not the first choice that his parents would have made for him, but Alex wanted the most thorough military training program he could get, and he recognized that he needed his butt booted a bit. So he chose the Marines.

Was it hard? Oh, yes. Did he get pushed to capacities he didn’t know he had? Definitely. And did he come out a fuller human being? Yes, he did. His whole family has new appreciation of the character-building aspect of this military training. I would not be saying that without having seen the marked changes in Alex, and without having gotten a taste of training life at the Marine base.

So, I ask myself, what are the components of his growth, and how was that growth stimulated?

He mastered tremendous physical and mental challenges. He had to LISTEN and not question. He had to follow orders. In one sense he had to give up his will, but his will to complete the training to the best of his ability actually strengthened while he learned to give up other will.

He was also trained to be a team member, at a deep level, and to be committed to being there for his fellow recruits. And, he did not lose his sense of himself. That actually became better defined. He clearly has new confidence.

I know there is a lot of reaction that says that the military wants mindless, obedient soldiers who will be obedient killing machines. Yet what I saw changed in Alex is that for the first time in his life he was able to really put aside his own desires and will in order to be the best contributor he could to the group he was training with, and to throw himself into something beyond his usual daily patterns.

Alex is a very intelligent young guy, very observant, highly verbal. He observed an awful lot. I think that part of the success of military training is that one is forced to step out of their usual mind and habits. You don’t get coffee just when you want it, or anything else just when you want it. Actually, for a few months you don’t get much of anything that you want. If you don’t like something you can’t just walk away. You have to deal with it and swallow your own reactions. You are taught to look out for your fellow human beings and work in cooperation, or else you all may fail.

In short, there is something very humbling about the training while there is also something that promotes tremendous confidence and ability to work with others.

The reason I have described all this is I wanted to deconstruct the connection I see between the changes in Alex and components that I believe are crucial to successfully running a business in integrity.

As I picture Alex now I observe some key qualities:

He has new confidence in his abilities to carry out difficult tasks.
He has new focus.
He has a new ability to listen carefully and translate that listening into appropriate action.
He appreciates life at a level that he previously took for granted.
He has experienced rewards of holding his own will at bay.

To me, being committed to working in cooperation involves certainly having your own way of seeing things while not being wedded to your way being the only way. You can be cooperative even if you don’t particularly like someone you are working with. And, you can also choose to look for the best in others and overlook a lot, which stretches your boundaries.

Such lovable, good-natured and influential characters as Art Buchwald have said that their Marine training was the most important developmental factor in their lives. For the first time, I think I can understand this.

I welcome any comments.