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Is Honesty the Best Policy?
(originially published in Home Remodeling Cape Cod & The Islands Magazine, Fall 2006.)
There was a contractor in the movie “The Money Pit”, starring Tom Hanks, who told all prospective customers that he would start work on their projects in two weeks. He epitomizes why the remodeling industry certainly ranks toward the bottom on scales of honesty.
Stories abound of broken promises, misleading practices, uncompleted jobs, and outright thievery. Even good people who do good work and mean well can get caught in a trap of speaking less than the truth.
An electrician on Cape Cod said that he hated to do it, but sometimes he just had to lie and tell people what they want to hear. This statement was made regarding scheduling work. When asked how his misrepresentation helped his business he could not give an answer. Yet he thought telling someone an unrealistic date that would make them happy in the moment would temporarily avoid discomfort with the customer. He could not articulate how he would deal with the unhappy customer the next week when he did not show up when he had promised. This otherwise talented and nice electrician lost customers.
Experience shows that respectful, direct communication and honest practices pave the way for good relationships and good reputations. Why do we lie? It could be to avoid discomfort, to try to appear to be other than who or what we are. Eventually, dishonest deeds and words snare the person responsible for them. Uncomfortable news, such as an unavoidable scheduling change or an unexpected problem encountered, can be delivered in a quiet, forthright manner that actually reveals respect and in return garners respect. A little humor can also be a great aid for making such news palatable.
What are good reputations built on? Don’t we praise others who keep their word, who seem committed to do their best and who produce quality results?
Aren’t we happy to refer others to people like this? Unfortunately, deceit tends to form a web that builds upon itself. It can lead to a rapid descent into closed communication, anger, hurt feelings and adversarial action. How many legal actions taken in the remodeling industry have at least some basis in dishonesty or the perception of dishonesty? Aside from all the negative emotions generated by dishonesty, it frequently costs both sides money. Legal fees, settlements and the cost of involving new contractors often push expenses way beyond original estimates.
Honesty is a two way street. Customers who are forthright with their expectations, their budgets, their fears and their hopes help to establish a successful working relationship with those involved in their construction project. Customers who know their budget but are afraid to reveal it don’t help the communication process. Contractors who look upon unrealistic budgets wishfully usually live to regret it. Honest, direct statements and questions tend to invite the same, and this opens the door for smooth and respectful relationships.
There are many talented and honorable people in the remodeling industry, as there are many wonderful customers. Yet it seems that so often there is avoidance of having direct, mutually respectful conversations, and of having difficult conversations, and ethics sometimes take a back seat. Challenging or difficult conversations may seem scary, but compounding them with dishonesty makes the situation worse.
We advise customers to take a careful look at the reputation, background and experience of those involved in your project. Similarly, people working in the remodeling industry should make efforts to get a feel for potential customers. Take the time to feel out one another. Are you comfortable together? Do you have doubts about one another? It seems that so often customers enter into projects with a high degree of distrust, and professionals in the remodeling world have their own distrust of customers. Entering into a business relationship with pre-conceived notions and prejudices or with distrust can quickly lead to disaster.
Use your personal “radar”, that little voice that gives you intuitive information beyond facts. A Falmouth contractor has learned to ask couples how good their relationship is and if they are prepared for the stresses that can come with doing a major project. He is a highly successful, quality professional.
Another important aspect of this topic is taking responsibility for making a mistake. Experience shows that in these circumstances honesty can be disarming. When someone says, “I screwed up. What can I do to make it right?” once initial emotions cool off it is very hard not to respect such a person and want to resolve problems.
Stick to the ancient wisdom of treating others as you would like to be treated yourself, and remember, honesty is the best policy.